Tag Archives: love

the casualties of modern dating

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i’m sure many of you unwed 20/30-somethings have read the intriguing NY Times article that was recently published (and re-posted onto facebook feeds) The End of Courtship. An excerpt reads–

Traditional courtship — picking up the telephone and asking someone on a date — required courage, strategic planning and a considerable investment of ego (by telephone, rejection stings). Not so with texting, e-mail, Twitter or other forms of “asynchronous communication,” as techies call it. In the context of dating, it removes much of the need for charm; it’s more like dropping a line in the water and hoping for a nibble.

it’s a very interesting assessment on how social media, internet dating sites (guilty), and the rise of gender equality have changed modern dating. there’s less pressure in a casual date, but there has to be some level of formality, some sense of thoughtfulness, and maybe an ounce of chivalry to prove to me that it still exists in this world. at least greet me at my door instead of rolling up to my building and texting me to come down. because internet dating has made us aware of just how many people are available in this city, there is less quality in our search for “the one,” because they’re always looking for someone better.

there’s also an odd shift in the pre-approach process. this generation of young men don’t try to get the girl they want; they wait for her to come to him, which makes for some very confusing sign language (i can attest). furthermore, dudes these days seem to be put off by girls who get a lot of attention. they are, more often than not, put off by the notion that they might have to fight off competition. WHAT?! if she is responding to you, who cares about anyone else? isn’t she worth winning anyway?